Titular humor

Warning: immature humor that some might consider in poor taste to follow.

While washing dishes this evening, I had a flashback to something my sister Alyssa and I found hilarious back in the day. Way back in the day, to be clear.

Our family used to listen to Garrison Keilor tapes (see, told you it was back in the day - we had tapes!) when on long trips, One of his stories was about how he and his brothers (or were they cousins?) used to play a game with book and song titles, substituting the word "buggers" (or if you prefer a different spelling, "boogers") for one word in the title. We included movie titles when we played, being a bit more modern than Garrison.

Our house was packed with bookshelves, because this was pre-Kindle. Alyssa and I would slowly walk along the shelves, trying out "buggers" in the titles until we found a good one, then call it out to the other person. It was hilarious stuff to middle schoolers. Dad's theology books were the best - titles like "Transformational Christianity" lent themselves well to becoming "Transformational Buggers." Even mature readers like yourselves might find a little humor in it if you're lame enough. Try a few classics:

The Old Man and the Sea
The Sound of Music
Little Orphan Annie
The Scarlet Letter
A Tale of Two Cities
100 Years of Solitude
A Room of One's Own
Five Little Peppers and How They Grew
As I Lay Dying

See - simply irresistable.

As an adult, I found out about a similar game that a friend had played as a kid, one that would have sent Alyssa and me into eruptions of laughter if we'd known about it back in the day. That being said, I confess that as a mature missionary singing hymns with friends, occasionally it still popped into my mind and made me make a muffled snort at times. This friend's version (which, she told me, most of the kids at her Christian high school and Bible college also knew, so apparently it's popular in some circles) was to add the words "in the toilet" after the title of a hymn, as in, "Jesus Paid It All in the Toilet." See, I told you this post was ridiculously immature.

So, want to give that idea a go? (No pun intended...)

For the Beauty of the Earth
All Things Bright and Beautiful
Abide With Me
Fight the Good Fight
Jesus Christ is Risen Today
Nearer My God to Thee
There is a Fountain
Are You Washed in the Blood

Okay, so you may now forever think less of me. I have probably knocked whatever missionary pedestal you had right over, but that might be a good thing and high time it happened. But whatever the case, I hope you laughed at least once as you let your inner child out to enjoy some bodily function humor.

Interested in teaching missionary kids?

Did you know that one of the biggest needs on the missions field is for teachers for missionary kids? That's right - doing a job that involves you speaking your own language and doing the job you're already trained to do (I'm writing to teachers... of course there are plenty of you who are not teachers!). So, should you be interested in doing missions overseas but aren't sure how your skills as a teacher would fit into a Bible translation or church planting or medical missions organization, let me tell you, they would fit perfectly!

Should you be interested in living in Musoma, Tanzania (see hundreds of my previous blog posts for what living there is like... it's the town we used to be in!), there is a little school there, Lake Victoria Learning Center, which is in desperate need of an elementary school teacher. To learn more about this position, go here: http://www.teachers-in-service.org/lvlc_tanzania.php. To visit the blog of the teacher pictured above (my friend Lyndy), go here: http://mkteacher.blogspot.com/.

And if you're more of a big city person who'd rather be at a bigger school, teaching not only missionary kids, but children from a great variety of cultural and religious backgrounds, there is a great school in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, called Haven of Peace Academy (see picture above). It currently needs quite a few teachers, in elementary, middle, and high school levels. To learn more, go here: http://www.teachers-in-service.org/hopac_36_2.php.

I hope some of you out there might be interested! There are links to some interesting blogs and other articles at the bottom of those two websites, too, if you want to read more about teaching missionary kids.

First haircuts

At almost five months old and almost two and a half years old, our children both received their first-ever haircuts today. It's not that Jerod is all that hairy, but he had a stringy forelock thing going on that wasn't his best look. And as for Zarya, she's always had plenty of hair, but since it's curly, it's never gotten very long. The lower back part was starting to look a little droopy, however, so it was finally time for a trim.

I neglected to take a before picture of the back of Zarya's head, but here's what I do have for you:

See what I meant about the comb-over look on Jerod?

And here's the little guy all cleaned up:

And you probably can't tell from this angle that Zarya got a haircut, but she wanted her picture taken after she saw me taking Jerod's:

:

Coincidentally, I happened to get my hair cut this week, too. It doesn't look any different - my ponytail is a little shorter, though. Someday when I actually bother to have a hairstyle and style it, before and after pictures might be in order.

Holidays, or lack thereof

Yesterday we had beef-barley soup for dinner (homemade by Andrew, and it was excellent), during the course of the day I cleaned the bathroom and did laundry, and our kids wore nice, but normal and not brand-new or particularly fancy, clothes to church. Oh, did I mention that yesterday was Easter Sunday? We're not traditionalists. Thanks to the fact Andrew's mom was visiting, Zarya did eat a chocolate rabbit and searched the living room for plastic eggs. And of course church was very resurrection-ish, which kind of saved the holiday for us.

At the end of the day, I commented to Andrew that I thought we should make a point of celebrating some holidays in addition to Christmas as our kids get older. He looked at me in surprise, saying, "But you're the one who always says we can just skip them!"

I said, "I know, I know, but I don't want our kids to grow up and feel like they needs to have a crazy celebration for things like St. Patrick's Day and Flag Day in over-reaction from our lack of noting holidays."

Andrew said, "Okay, which ones should we choose?"

After some consideration, I said, "Well, how about Easter, Independence Day, and Thanksgiving?"

Andrew said, "All of those? Are you sure? And both kids' birthdays? You have a history of skipping Thanksgiving, and now you want to add it and two others on top of it?"

I added, "Yes, and our birthdays, and anniversary, but we can combine those three if need be, since they are all in the summer. Oh, and Mother's Day."

To which he said, "And Father's Day."

"No, Mother's Day is enough. We can skip Father's Day. That's just too much."

"We'll see."

We're awful, I know. At least Jerod's birthday is close to Thanksgiving, so I can combine those and get a two-for-one holiday. I hope he likes pumpkin pie! But if he doesn't like turkey, then that means I'm off the hook for having to roast one, which could be handy.

At least we do Christmas well!

Puzzle blocks and bedhead

Zarya got a Melissa and Doug 16-block 6-sided puzzle for Christmas, and it's a good challenge! She hasn't mastered it yet, and it's great to have a toy that she likes playing with, but that is still hard brain work for her. She needs something to make her think a bit and keep her interested even after three months.

And yes, this really is what her hair looks like every morning. Fortunately, all it takes is little water from a spritzer bottle and some finger curls, and this wild child turns into a cute girl again.

Four months old

Three months old

Four months old

His preferred state of being

And here's Jerod... the world's most easy-going little boy. We love our wee buddy! He grew two inches between the top picture and the middle one - no wonder he spent a lot of that month asleep! He's a happy, great baby. He loves his sister and his parents, his swing, baths, trying to talk, waking up Mama to have snacks in the middle of the night, and TV. He discovered TV this past month - if it's on and he's in the room, he's transfixed. I can just see him as an adult, dozing off on the couch while watching TV, an empty snack bowl next to him. That will probably drive his wife crazy someday, but in the meantime, it sure makes him a laid-back baby!

Sheep!

I can recite this entire book, I kid you not. It's actually a very handy skill, because when I'm washing dishes or doing something that has both my hands and eyes occupied, yet Zarya wants me to read her a book, I tell her to go get a sheep book. She brings in "Sheep in a Shop," or "Sheep in a Jeep," and flips through the pages while I tell her the words. She either hasn't figured out that I'm not actually reading it, or she doesn't care. Or maybe she knows it and thinks it's cool that her mama can read without looking at the words.

We also own "Sheep Take a Hike," which contains some great lines like these:
Sheep squeeze through the trees.
Sheep rush through underbrush.
Thorns dig. Prickers snag.
Sheep zig. Sheep zag.

If you're looking for some short, fun, rhyming books, you know, the kind that force you to read in a dramatic sing-song and actually read every word on the pages, check out Nancy Shaw and Margot Apple's sheep book. Normally I just make up words to go with the pictures in Zarya's books, but these ones are well-worth actually reading. And memorizing, apparently.

Beep beep! Sheep in a jeep on a hill that's steep...