Well, this looks to be a three-part series, so keep checking here for Wedding: part 2 and Wedding: part 3! I expect to write part 2 sometime next week and part 3 the week after that.
So, here's the scoop: it's pretty common in Tanzania to have a local-style traditional "wedding" but not to fill out the legal government marriage license or have the official church wedding. This is due to money issues - church weddings cost a lot. Anyway, Shem, one of the Zanaki translators with whom I work announced to me a few weeks ago that he's getting married October 16. I just stared at him, not sure what to think! I mean, he's been "married" for eighteen years now, and has four kids!
Then, as if I weren't already processing some cultural info and figuring out what to say, he then asks me if Andrew and I would do them the honor of being their best man/matron of honor in the wedding! So, long story short, we ended up agreeing to be their witnesses/attendants. The way it works here is that the couple getting married asks a married couple (usually an older couple who have been married for a while) to stand up with them, and this couple then has responsibility to mentor and help the newlyweds. However, since this is more of a "blessing the marriage" kind of wedding, they are tossing tradition a bit to the wind and asked us, who have been married for all of one year.
Yesterday (Saturday the 2nd) was the rehearsal. We showed up right at 10:00 as requested. Well, the pastor forgot about it, so didn't come till 11:00. Then he proceeded to give them a pre-marital counseling-type sermon for an hour and a half! He said that usually pre-marital meetings require several days, but since they've already been together for 18 years, they got the short version. I have to say, it was a little funny to be sitting there with them on this wooden bench with a pastor preaching about marriage for 90 minutes! Now, I know this is usual in Tanzania, but experiencing it is different than hearing about it. I just never imagined I'd be sitting in on someone's pre-marital pastoral teaching time.
Then it was time for lunch with the pastor, and I was pleasantly surprised that Shem paid for our lunches, too. It was nice to go out with a Tanzanian and not be asked for money, and, in fact, have them spend money on you. We'll give them a nice wedding gift and they won't be badly off financially for having paid for things for us, but in the meantime it's encouraging to be treated like they would treat Tanzanians.
After lunch we returned to the church for the rehearsal. There will be another rehearsal two days before the wedding at which the choir is present, so we can practice with them, but in the meantime it was just the four of us and the pastor. He took us through the entire wedding service, having them say their vows and everything! I know in the States the pastor skips that part so that they aren't actually married at their rehearsal, but apparently such worries aren't such a big deal here. I definitely needed some practice for the processional, though - you have to take special little steps walking around the church for the procesional. It's put out one foot, tap it, rock back, then step forward, repeat with the next foot. If you think wedding marches you've seen are slow, wait till you see a Tanzanian one when it takes a full two or three minutes to get down the aisle!
After the rehearsal, we went shopping. At first we weren't totally sure what we were shopping for, but figured it out as we went. Andrew got measured for a suit, which a tailor in town is making. Then we went fabric shopping, and the bride and I picked out satin material for our dresses. We'll have two each - one for next Sunday, when we're going to her home village for a party with her family, and another for the wedding itself. I was surprised that they simply asked me what color I wanted! I mean, I expected the bride to have an idea in mind of what she wanted at her own wedding. So, I chose a light green (the choices were limited) for the pre-wedding party outfit, and then the groom and Andrew get shirts to match. Then I went with a cornflower blue for the wedding day. Shem and Andrew will have purple shirts that day, and I think blue and purple will look okay together. If I'd known that I was picking two different fabrics, I'd have reversed them and worn the green for the wedding and the blue for the party, but that's okay. Next we went to the seamstress for her to measure us for our outfits. Once again, Shem paid for everything, much to our surprise. It wasn't cheap, either!
So, at 5:30 we stumbled home exhausted. We couldn't even stay awake for our usual evening routine and crashed at 9:00 sharp under our mosquito net and slept for a long time. Being in a wedding party in Tanzania is a lot more work than being one in the States, we're discovering!
We'll keep you posted and show some pictures once we get our outfits!
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