I babysat plenty as a teenager and had fun playing with kids old enough to carry on a little conversation and understand a game. I know what to do with kids old enough for toys. Babies, however, have always been a bit of a mystery, and not the sort of mystery that drew me in.
Several years ago in Musoma there was a family with whom I liked to spend time when possible. They had two little boys whom I quite enjoyed. One day I mentioned to them that although I liked their boys fine, some kids didn't really do it for me. The father of the family told me, "You know those two bratty cats you have? They don't talk or mature and their box makes your house stink, but you love them, right?" I said, "Of course I love my cats!" He assured me, "If you have kids someday, and I hope you do, I promise you that if you can love those cats, you will absolutely adore your own child." All through my pregnancy, whenever I had doubts about being a mom to an infant, I recalled his words and was encouraged that although I might not be like my college housemate, maybe there was still hope for me.
Well, here I am to say that I'm totally smitten with Zarya! I am fascinated just watching her sleep, I love the feel of her snuggled in my arms, I enjoy feeding her, even at 2:30am, and even changing her diapers doesn't seem like an awful chore (yet...). She's my little baby and I'm in love. I can't say I'm going to start cooing and squealing at diaper commercials or want to cuddle every baby I meet, but so far as my baby goes, I'm convinced she's the sweetest, cutest, most precious newborn ever. She's way better than any cat. :-)
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